Wednesday, October 1, 2008

If you think the grocery store was weird, try hanging out in front of a gas station for 5 hours!!!

Yesterday, I did voter registration in front of a gas station called Grumpy's! Thankfully, the store is run by women who do not fit that name...they were nice and really funny. Every 30 minutes on the nose, at least one of them would come out and have a cigarette or three. So, after a couple of days at this location, I'll have to have myself screened for lung cancer (cough, wheeze)!

Here's the breakdown:

133 people had already registered
22 people aren't registered and aren't going to
only 10 people ignored me completely
8 good Americans registered by me
5 felons :)
4 were not residents (one was from Sweden!!)
1 asked me if I was registered (smart aleck!)
1 was a drag queen

The drag queen was hilarious - he/she got out of a tiny little compact car, and how he/she ever got into it, I'll never know. He/she was about 6'3", had a 5-o'clock shadow, an adam's apple so big it nearly knocked me down when he/she walked by, full makeup, dress and heels. When I asked if he/she was registered to vote, he/she answered me in a great Barry White voice. Cracked me up! I don't think I'm in Kansas anymore, Toto...

Of the felons (quickly becoming my favorite demographic), one guy rode his bike up and told me he hadn't driven a car in 25 years. I asked him how many miles he has on his bike, and he said he'd only had this bike for a few years, so only 30,000. THIRTY THOUSAND??? Wow. We talked for awhile. He was a hoot! He didn't tell me what his felony was (how do you ask that question, anyway??), but I hope it wasn't murdering blonde women who stand outside of gas stations...gulp

Then there was the guy who told me I should definitely vote for Obama. When I asked why, he said "wouldn't you love to have a black president?" I asked if that was the only reason he was voting for Obama. The guy said "yep - I figure a black president will help the rest of us black folks out. But I know you white folks aren't gonna vote in a black man for president." I quickly informed him that my choice for president is not at all determined by the person's skin color, whereas he told me he didn't know what Obama stands for, nor does he care. He just wants a black man for president. He asked me if I thought that was racist. Then he asked me if I thought Obama would be assassinated while in office. I said I sure hoped no one would be assassinated. He said he didn't think anyone would assassinate a white president. I reminded him of Lincoln...JFK...not to mention Garfield (somebody must have wanted his lasagna). Anyway, he was kinda funny, and the conversation was definitely interesting.

Then a guy pulled up in a fairly new Jeep Cherokee, said hi to me, rummaged through the trash for three aluminum cans, then drove off.

A lady in a Suburban ran out of gas in the middle of three busy lanes of traffic, ran across the street to Grumpy's, bought a gas can, gas and then stood in the MIDDLE LANE without being killed to fill her car up. She didn't bring any children in, and I was sure hoping that meant she didn't have any in the car...

Did you know people still use pay phones? 4 people stopped at this gas station to use the pay phone. One of them was a guy in a beat up old minivan who must have talked for 30 minutes to someone about some woman who stood him up for a date and now wasn't returning his phone calls. Funny, you don't hear a lot of men yelling and complaining about that kind of stuff - he was worrying it to DEATH like I would do! I really wanted to tell him the truth. "Dude, she's just not that into you." But, he was so mad, I figured he would take my head off. So, I kept my opinion to myself.

I counted 22 cans of Red Bull bought, 10 cans of Monster, countless cases of beer, something called heavy gravity ale, a million candy bars and 8 giant blue slushies. Can't wait to go back today!!! :)


Beth said...

i love this - can't wait to see you in 9 days!

Shelly... said...

Wow, great stories! I love how you counted everything too. That would help the day go by faster not to mention all the "unique" people you got to talk too!

Vegetable House said...

STQ, you are amazing!!!! How many people could do that job? Cheerfully, I mean! :)

You Kids are Required to be Cheerful

Anonymous said...

If only you weren't shredding all the Democratic registrations! OOPS! did I say something wrong?!

Kate said...

Hi Cousin!

I read an interesting article today that made me think of your recent blog posts - apparently in 48 of the 50 states, felons can regain (or never lose) their right to vote. It looks like in Nevada, if people have only been convicted of one felony (before 2003), their voting rights are automatically restored by the state.


Momsoon said...

These stories provide additional nuance around the saying, "What happens in Vegas...." Hysterical!