Monday, May 25, 2009

I'm kinda surprised at myself

Ok, so anyone who knows me knows I LOOOOOOVE nothing better than to find something random to stress about. I wake up at night and can always find something to worry about that will keep me up for a good few hours. Fun stuff.

We are moving (sigh) again. No, not to a new city, just to a new house in Las Vegas. We bit off a smidge more than we could chew with our mega casa here. At least with a daughter in college ($$$), a son in private school ($$$) and me working semi-part-time as a Sub (many fewer $$ than the previous two categories). So, we are leaving the pool (wahh) and the hot tub (double wahhh) and moving closer to school to a much smaller house with no pool (did I mention wahhh) that is substantially lower in cost.

I have been excited about the move - really looking forward to getting back on budget and having a little more disposable income around here. Until this weekend, that is. We started moving into the new house on Saturday, and I started to freak out. I'm really surprised (and kinda ashamed) at my reaction. The house is a lot smaller than any of our past few houses, and a lot more modest than our current one, for sure. We're going to have to sell some stuff that won't fit into the house.

I've always considered myself a fairly non-materialistic gal. I mean, I like nice stuff, but I'm not one to be jealous over a friend's fabulous, gorgeous, gigantic casa. I like warm, cozy and easy-to clean better. Or at least that's what I've always thought. I'm really taking this move hard. Could it be that I'm more of a material girl than I thought??? :( I hope not.

Anyway, I've been surprised this past week how kinda sad I feel about the whole thing. Maybe it's just a matter of NOT wanting to move EVER again...but I'm anxious about our family and friends' reaction to our new house when they come visit.

I'm going to have to chant my mantra: "We are living like no one else so that later we can LIVE LIKE NO ONE ELSE!!" Dave Ramsey, don'tcha know.

So, if you're coming to visit me, don't comment on how small our house is. Instead use words like "cozy" "warm" "charming." 'Kay??

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Thyroids, laryngitis, meningitis and goiters

I had weird health issues this week:

Saturday night: massive headache
Sunday: Headache continued, kept me in bed most of the afternoon and finally settled into my neck. No amount of medicine gave me any relief at all.
Monday: Headache gone. Now I have laryngitis and a VERY sore throat.
Tuesday: Laryngitis continues, but add drippy nose and phlegmy cough.
Wednesday: Headache back. Plus laryngitis, nose and cough.

Wednesday, I had had enough and I went to the doctor. I was afraid of what horrible new symptom would show up next! I mean, really!! So, the doctor told me that no, I didn't have meningitis (thanks for that thought, SIL), Swine flu (gaaaaaahhhh) or the plague. I have an upper-respiratory infection and a headache. SO glad I paid good money for that special diagnosis!

BUT. It was a good thing that I went. As I have whined about to you before, my doctor has tested me 9,432 times for hypothyroidism. He seems to think that draining my entire body of blood, one vial at a time, will cure it. (sigh) So, we talked about it yesterday when I went in to be diagnosed with Typhoid fever. I had recently found out that my sweet mommi takes thyroid meds for hypothyroidism. Never knew that before, and when my doc heard that I have a family history, he called off all of the blood-drawing (thank goodness) and wrote me a prescription for Synthroid. So, I now will take a thyroid pill for the rest of my life.

BUT, that isn't even the good part. The really SUPER part of my little jaunt to the doc is that he said I'm getting a goiter. A GOITER! Oh. My. Gosh. So, I have to have an ultrasound of my thyroid next Friday to see this lovely goiter of mine and make sure that's really all it is. sigh.

Now, just in case you don't know what a GOITER is, I really would like to provide you with a visual aid, but frankly, it's too disgusting to put on my blog. So, if you're dying to see one, google it. And don't do it during lunch. It's a giant, softball-sized blob (or four) on your neck. That, my friends, is what happens if you DON'T deal with hypothyroidism. I filled my prescription about 10 seconds after seeing that lovely image. As long as you treat the condition, it won't grow like those disgusting images, but he said I have one starting.

So, the good news (because Divine Hubby gets all nervous when my blog isn't cheery): thyroid meds will help me lose weight (yay), will give me more energy (I'd do a cheer but I'm too freakin' tired) and stop the goiter (good grief) from growing. Also, I'm not dying of a rare and exotic disease...I have a cold. Yippee! The other good news is that he gave me a shot (in my buttocks, I might add) and it made me feel like 10,000% better. Still kinda phlegmy, and still singin' Bass, but my downhill slide has stopped.

And THAT, my friends, is something to celebrate!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Can you hear me now?

Trust me, even if I had Verizon, you couldn't hear me now. I have laryngitis. (sigh) Yep, the one who never met someone she couldn't talk to now hasn't a thing to say. Hard to imagine, I know...

So, when I last left you faithful readers, I was frustrated. If I were being honest, I'd have to tell you that I still am frustrated, but things are improving. Things went significantly downhill for awhile, but seem to be on the upswing now. I hope so, anyway.

So anyway...I have had a weird combination of symptoms over the past 24 hours. Saturday night, we went to dinner with friends. I was feeling fine until I had the first sip of red wine. And then my head started to hurt a little. By the end of dinner, my head was pounding like a brass band. When we went home, I took some ibuprofen and went to bed.

Sunday morning, I awoke with a headache, and that spacy feeling I get when I take Nyquil (I had not taken Nyquil). Also, my voice was kinda scratchy and my throat was a little sore. I took more ibuprofen and we went to church. Throughout church, I started "sinking" and feeling worse. My head felt like it might break in two at any moment. And our church has a rock band, which didn't help matters much...

Anyway, I spent the remainder of Sunday in bed and by evening, the headache had settled into my neck. The ibuprofen never touched the pain all day long. This morning, my head feels fine, my neck is a little sore, but not much, but I now have laryngitis and a very deep, phlegmy cough. (That's what you kept reading for, isn't it. The word phlegm!! It's just not a blog without it.)

So, I think that is a weird combination of symptoms. I had to cancel my subbing job today, because who wants a sub with laryngitis? I'm waiting until about 2 to decide whether or not I can go tomorrow...

Friday, May 15, 2009


I'm frustrated.

I'm frustrated because of things that are out of my control.

And that, in itself, is very frustrating.

My stomach is in knots. I'm grouchy and not nice to be around. I felt like this nearly every single day for 10+ years. I had really hoped never to feel like this ever ever again. I have gone out of my way the past few years to make sure I never have this feeling again. And here it is.

It's partly anger, a lot of disappointment with a smidge of resignation thrown in for good measure. The resignation is from years and years of this same old stuff. Same old stuff. No matter what we do, the result is the same. Nothing we ever do is ever enough. And I really mean ever. I really had hoped that by now things would be different. But, they're not.

Anyway, it's a big sigh. This has been a really good day - I met with a woman who works for a company I am very interested in working for, we had a very nice conversation and I can really see myself getting involved with this organization! Karate was fun, I got to talk to my friends Jay and Danielle, I worked out and we have a good weekend planned.

And, as I always do, I'll shake this off. It will come and go and we will again be branded not good enough and things will go on as usual. But every time this happens, it hurts a little bit more. I'm not asking for engraved thank you notes for everything we've done. Just maybe NOT being called the same old names again and again. When we beat our heads against the wall giving what we're asked to give. Only to turn around and hear "that's not enough" again. Then we increase what we give to meet the requested criteria. "Still not enough." Is what we hear.

I'm just tired of never being enough.

And this blog wasn't even sponsored by ye old glass of red wine!!! :(

Saturday, May 9, 2009

The perils of blogging while drinking...

Divine hubby commented that last night's blog entry was a smidge "depressing." I read it again, and ya know, he's right! I thought it was funny last night, but I'd had a couple of glasses of wine, and I guess it was a bit of a downer...

So, let's keep up the theme and liven things up a bit!

I'm looking forward to moving to our new house because it looks like there are lots of kids in the neighborhood. That will be lots of fun for Chase and will go a long way towards solving the TV problem.

The neighborhood pool we will have access to has a big slide! We love a pool with a big slide.

Chase has a plan for his project and we can easily finish it this weekend.

I have a hubby who got up at the crack of dawn, but I got to sleep in! Aaaahhhh.

My friend Shelly told me about her hairdresser who is great and NOT too spendy! No Supercut for me!

My hair actually looked pretty good yesterday. It's still too long, but it showed me it can be done.

Our new house has a really cool koi pond in the backyard with soothing water sounds to sleep by.

We are really enjoying our "Financial Peace University" class at church and are well on our way to getting out of debt!

Dave Ramsey ROCKS!

We have tons of people coming to visit as well as plans to see friends this summer. It's going to be a fun summer!

Although our new house will not have a pool, we have something this summer that we didn't have last summer...multiple friends with a pool!

My potential thyroid problem will explain my exhaustion and my weight gain, and meds will fix them! So, personally, I'm lookin' forward to a little hypo-thyroid...

I have a wonderful hubby who makes a great living for us and supports me in my desire to be available for the kiddos.

Our daughter is pulling all A's & B's at college.

Our son is pulling all A's in 5th grade.

Gotta love kids who work hard in school.

I have a great life here in Sin City. A year ago, I couldn't imagine I'd have said that, but it's true.

So, no intervention necessary for me - I was trying to be funny last night, and I guess humor mixed with a little merlot makes for a little dark humor. All is well here in the STQ household. My family still drives me batty, but I wouldn't trade 'em for the world! And I hope they would say the same about me...

Friday, May 8, 2009

Deep Thoughts

Honestly, I have no ideas on which to base this blog.

My son and hubby are watching Smackdown (sigh).

My son has a project due on Tuesday that he has not yet finished (double sigh).

My daughter has just finished her freshman year in college.

It's really hot here, and it's not even summer yet.

I subbed in a class I love today...and hated almost every second of it.

I almost had to do a "take down" of a kid today (no, that is not related to the Smackdown comment) and I am NOT allowed to do so.

I am exhausted all the time, have gained 15 pounds in less than a year and have been told that I may have a hypo-thyroid by my doctor.

My doctor keeps re-checking my thyroid. Which means every time he tells me I am borderline hypo-thyroid, he makes me an appointment for 3 months in the future to check it again. (We're currently on blood draw number 3...)

I mean, how many freakin' times do you have to check the silly thing? You're killin me, man.

I wonder who reads my blog from Marysville, Tennessee?

I pulled a muscle in my neck while WATCHING my kids do a music class at school today. I mean, what's up with that? Ok, so, I'm 40. Does EVERYTHING have to fall apart at once? Seriously.

I say "seriously" and "really " way way seriously too much. I mean, really.

I'm worried about moving into our new house. At first, I loved it. This past weekend I saw it again. I don't like it anymore and I'm worried about that.

I love our car! I did hear that the Ford Taurus tends to have transmission problems at 75K miles. And we have 62K. BUT, we have the warranty that will cover the transmission, so I've decided not to worry about that. Much.

My hair is awful - and I'm considering a Super Cut cause it fits in our budget. :(

I can't wait until summer. In general, I hate the summer. I'm worried about the inherent problems caused by the simultaneous utterance of those two statements.

My hubby is doing the dishes. Part of me feels guilty that I am drinking a glass of wine and blogging instead of helping or doing something constructive. The other part of me continues to drink the wine...

I wonder if my dog has fleas.

Divine hubby and Chase are discussing going to see the new Star Trek movie. I wonder if it makes me a bad mom to think about the nap I could take while they go see the movie.

I read a book to my kids today called The Berenstains Bears Watch Too Much TV and really identified with it. :(

I desperately love Divine Hubby but he drives me nuts.

Ditto for Chase and Meg.

I think I love the robo-dwarf hamster most of all. She's easy. As long as I feed her and clean her cage regularly, she stays alive and requires nothing more. Yep, that clinches it. She's my favorite family member.

I have a new square purple phone that I think I love more than the hamster.

I wonder if that makes me materialistic.

I wonder if it matters if I'm materialistic.

I wonder if anyone is continuing to read this silliness...

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Absence, teacher appreciation, magic shows and Mother's day

Yeah yeah, I know. It's been awhile since I blogged...sorry to the three people who regularly read my blog and have been complaining!

1. I have been absent because I have been working a lot, sitting at the soccer fields, helping on ten thousand school projects, having fun with family and friends who have come to visit and so on!! No excuses, I know.

2. This week has been teacher appreciation week at Chase's school. It's a small school and we recently had a big fundraiser that took up a lot of people's time. Therefore, a small number of us actually had time to help out. So, I've been helping out with that a lot. Today, I washed the teachers' cars for about 3 hours in the hot Vegas sun...

3. We saw a great magic show when the 'rents were here last weekend! Lance Burton is one amazing dude. He can make all kinds of things (and people) disappear!!

4. It's almost Mother's Day!! I got my present today from my sweet boys. A VERY cute little purple Lotus phone from Sprint. The best part is, it came with a holder that fits on my purse strap so it is always at my fingertips. I have enjoyed playing with it today!!!

So, that's what I've been up to. Nothing earth-shattering, nothing dramatic, nothing fabulous nor horrible, just life. It's funny how busy a life can get when you're just livin' it!!

So, here's to life. To busy-ness, to slow-ness, to school, play, sports, work, family, projects and all of the other things that take up all of our time. Enjoy them all!!