Melancholy

My baby boy (who yes, is nearly 12 and almost as tall as I am and regularly beats me at Scrabble, so I shouldn't really call him a baby, huh??) is leaving tomorrow. (sniff) I finally found someone who would adopt him, so he's out, baby. NOOOOO, just kidding. He's headed to my parents' house in SC for 6 days and then to SPACE CAMP at NASA.

Can I tell you how excited he is?
Very.

His mama?
Not so much.

I'm not too worried about his trip to see my parents since he's done that for the past three summers, but he's never gone to a sleep-away camp before. And ya know, I'm no geography whiz, but I don't think Nevada is REAL close to Alabama. I could be wrong, but since the flight is nearly 4 hours long, I think it might be kinda far away. He's going to be gone for eleven days. ELEVEN.

One day for every year he's been around.

I've never been away from him for so long before, and I'm feeling kinda melancholy. On one hand, I am excited for him and VERY proud of him for being so brave. He isn't worried about camp in the least. We found out there is going to be another kid with his exact name at camp at the same time. He's pretty excited about that.

I'm gonna miss him like crazy, that's all.

I'm back!!!

Hey, howzitgoin? I've been out of touch for the past week or so because of our move. Yes, sportsfans, this constantly relocating chica relocated again. Thankfully, this time, it was only 8 miles away. No new schools, no new book clubs, no new doctors, no new jobs. Just a new zip code and a new house. After relocating approximately 8,435 times in the past five years, I thought this little jaunt across town would be a piece of cake. I was WRONG!!!

There is something nice about a real move and a real deadline. Because we were "just" moving across town, we didn't really have to pack, right? So, we basically didn't. What that meant was that Saturday and Sunday, we had to go through each room inch by inch and throw everything that wasn't nailed down into a box which we didn't label or seal, we simply threw in the U-Haul and hauled. Can I tell you? That's not the FDA recommended way to move.

Saturday: up at 6:00am, drop Chase at a friend's house
Move move move move move move, then the movers come for the big stuff.
Lunch.
Movers leave after lugging piano, beds, dressers, desks, etc.
Move move move move move move
Chase is invited to spend the night with said friend.
Move move move move move move
Dinner at 9pm.
Fall into bed exhausted at new house completely surrounded by boxes and junque.

Sunday: up at 6:30am (hey, we slept in!!)
Move move move move move move
Move move move move move move
Last Financial Peace University class at church
Last swim at backyard pool in old house (sniff)
Unpack unpack unpack unpack
Fall into bed exhausted at new house less surrounded by boxes but still crowded.

Monday: up at 5:26am
Divine Hubby goes to work and Chase goes to school
STQ goes to the old house and cleans like a madwoman.
Carpet cleaners show up, clean carpet and tile because I have to get the keys to the management company by noon or we will be charged for another day. More cleaning like madwoman.
Have to leave before I finished cleaning because carpet cleaners are in route to new house.
Swept quickly and left giant pile of dirt in kitchen and cleaning stuff in sink.
Carpet cleaners come to new house and clean carpet.
I drive 45 minutes in traffic to management company only to realize I left one house key and mailbox key in the house.
I go into the management company to beg and plead for them to let me mail it.
They say no.
I beg and plead to be able to bring it in tomorrow.
They say no.
I sniffle a little and then resign myself to spending roughly three more hours in the car driving back to the house, then back to the management company, then back to the house.
I go to the car and realize that yes, Virginia, there is a God...the house/mailbox key is in the car!
I tear back to the old house to finish cleaning, only to find a car with Ohio license plates in the driveway.
Thinking of the state in which I left the house, I. Freak. Out.
Luckily, it is a couple who saw it was vacant and snuck in the dog door to look around.
I ask them not to tell the management company I was there and sneak in said dog door to finish cleaning.
Three hours of feverish cleaning later, I sneak back out the dog door, am late picking up Chase from school and collapse in exhaustion at our new house.

And, did you know that there is not much need for substitute teachers during the last week of school? Huh. So, I'm basically unemployed for the summer. Which sounds good, but I was sure hoping to make a couple of hundred extra smackolas before becoming a woman of leisure again...oh well.

This woman of leisure has been unpacking all day, and honestly, it doesn't look like it! How much junque can one family have? Well, this family has a LOT.

So, think of us as you are living your leisurely, non-constantly-relocating lives. Personally, I'm hoping never to see a cardboard box again.

I'm kinda surprised at myself

Ok, so anyone who knows me knows I LOOOOOOVE nothing better than to find something random to stress about. I wake up at night and can always find something to worry about that will keep me up for a good few hours. Fun stuff.

We are moving (sigh) again. No, not to a new city, just to a new house in Las Vegas. We bit off a smidge more than we could chew with our mega casa here. At least with a daughter in college ($$$), a son in private school ($$$) and me working semi-part-time as a Sub (many fewer $$ than the previous two categories). So, we are leaving the pool (wahh) and the hot tub (double wahhh) and moving closer to school to a much smaller house with no pool (did I mention wahhh) that is substantially lower in cost.

I have been excited about the move - really looking forward to getting back on budget and having a little more disposable income around here. Until this weekend, that is. We started moving into the new house on Saturday, and I started to freak out. I'm really surprised (and kinda ashamed) at my reaction. The house is a lot smaller than any of our past few houses, and a lot more modest than our current one, for sure. We're going to have to sell some stuff that won't fit into the house.

I've always considered myself a fairly non-materialistic gal. I mean, I like nice stuff, but I'm not one to be jealous over a friend's fabulous, gorgeous, gigantic casa. I like warm, cozy and easy-to clean better. Or at least that's what I've always thought. I'm really taking this move hard. Could it be that I'm more of a material girl than I thought??? :( I hope not.

Anyway, I've been surprised this past week how kinda sad I feel about the whole thing. Maybe it's just a matter of NOT wanting to move EVER again...but I'm anxious about our family and friends' reaction to our new house when they come visit.

I'm going to have to chant my mantra: "We are living like no one else so that later we can LIVE LIKE NO ONE ELSE!!" Dave Ramsey, don'tcha know.

So, if you're coming to visit me, don't comment on how small our house is. Instead use words like "cozy" "warm" "charming." 'Kay??

Thyroids, laryngitis, meningitis and goiters

I had weird health issues this week:

Saturday night: massive headache
Sunday: Headache continued, kept me in bed most of the afternoon and finally settled into my neck. No amount of medicine gave me any relief at all.
Monday: Headache gone. Now I have laryngitis and a VERY sore throat.
Tuesday: Laryngitis continues, but add drippy nose and phlegmy cough.
Wednesday: Headache back. Plus laryngitis, nose and cough.

Wednesday, I had had enough and I went to the doctor. I was afraid of what horrible new symptom would show up next! I mean, really!! So, the doctor told me that no, I didn't have meningitis (thanks for that thought, SIL), Swine flu (gaaaaaahhhh) or the plague. I have an upper-respiratory infection and a headache. SO glad I paid good money for that special diagnosis!

BUT. It was a good thing that I went. As I have whined about to you before, my doctor has tested me 9,432 times for hypothyroidism. He seems to think that draining my entire body of blood, one vial at a time, will cure it. (sigh) So, we talked about it yesterday when I went in to be diagnosed with Typhoid fever. I had recently found out that my sweet mommi takes thyroid meds for hypothyroidism. Never knew that before, and when my doc heard that I have a family history, he called off all of the blood-drawing (thank goodness) and wrote me a prescription for Synthroid. So, I now will take a thyroid pill for the rest of my life.

BUT, that isn't even the good part. The really SUPER part of my little jaunt to the doc is that he said I'm getting a goiter. A GOITER! Oh. My. Gosh. So, I have to have an ultrasound of my thyroid next Friday to see this lovely goiter of mine and make sure that's really all it is. sigh.

Now, just in case you don't know what a GOITER is, I really would like to provide you with a visual aid, but frankly, it's too disgusting to put on my blog. So, if you're dying to see one, google it. And don't do it during lunch. It's a giant, softball-sized blob (or four) on your neck. That, my friends, is what happens if you DON'T deal with hypothyroidism. I filled my prescription about 10 seconds after seeing that lovely image. As long as you treat the condition, it won't grow like those disgusting images, but he said I have one starting.

So, the good news (because Divine Hubby gets all nervous when my blog isn't cheery): thyroid meds will help me lose weight (yay), will give me more energy (I'd do a cheer but I'm too freakin' tired) and stop the goiter (good grief) from growing. Also, I'm not dying of a rare and exotic disease...I have a cold. Yippee! The other good news is that he gave me a shot (in my buttocks, I might add) and it made me feel like 10,000% better. Still kinda phlegmy, and still singin' Bass, but my downhill slide has stopped.

And THAT, my friends, is something to celebrate!

Can you hear me now?

Trust me, even if I had Verizon, you couldn't hear me now. I have laryngitis. (sigh) Yep, the one who never met someone she couldn't talk to now hasn't a thing to say. Hard to imagine, I know...

So, when I last left you faithful readers, I was frustrated. If I were being honest, I'd have to tell you that I still am frustrated, but things are improving. Things went significantly downhill for awhile, but seem to be on the upswing now. I hope so, anyway.

So anyway...I have had a weird combination of symptoms over the past 24 hours. Saturday night, we went to dinner with friends. I was feeling fine until I had the first sip of red wine. And then my head started to hurt a little. By the end of dinner, my head was pounding like a brass band. When we went home, I took some ibuprofen and went to bed.

Sunday morning, I awoke with a headache, and that spacy feeling I get when I take Nyquil (I had not taken Nyquil). Also, my voice was kinda scratchy and my throat was a little sore. I took more ibuprofen and we went to church. Throughout church, I started "sinking" and feeling worse. My head felt like it might break in two at any moment. And our church has a rock band, which didn't help matters much...

Anyway, I spent the remainder of Sunday in bed and by evening, the headache had settled into my neck. The ibuprofen never touched the pain all day long. This morning, my head feels fine, my neck is a little sore, but not much, but I now have laryngitis and a very deep, phlegmy cough. (That's what you kept reading for, isn't it. The word phlegm!! It's just not a blog without it.)

So, I think that is a weird combination of symptoms. I had to cancel my subbing job today, because who wants a sub with laryngitis? I'm waiting until about 2 to decide whether or not I can go tomorrow...

Frustration

I'm frustrated.

I'm frustrated because of things that are out of my control.

And that, in itself, is very frustrating.

My stomach is in knots. I'm grouchy and not nice to be around. I felt like this nearly every single day for 10+ years. I had really hoped never to feel like this ever ever again. I have gone out of my way the past few years to make sure I never have this feeling again. And here it is.

It's partly anger, a lot of disappointment with a smidge of resignation thrown in for good measure. The resignation is from years and years of this same old stuff. Same old stuff. No matter what we do, the result is the same. Nothing we ever do is ever enough. And I really mean ever. I really had hoped that by now things would be different. But, they're not.

Anyway, it's a big sigh. This has been a really good day - I met with a woman who works for a company I am very interested in working for, we had a very nice conversation and I can really see myself getting involved with this organization! Karate was fun, I got to talk to my friends Jay and Danielle, I worked out and we have a good weekend planned.

And, as I always do, I'll shake this off. It will come and go and we will again be branded not good enough and things will go on as usual. But every time this happens, it hurts a little bit more. I'm not asking for engraved thank you notes for everything we've done. Just maybe NOT being called the same old names again and again. When we beat our heads against the wall giving what we're asked to give. Only to turn around and hear "that's not enough" again. Then we increase what we give to meet the requested criteria. "Still not enough." Is what we hear.

I'm just tired of never being enough.

And this blog wasn't even sponsored by ye old glass of red wine!!! :(

The perils of blogging while drinking...

Divine hubby commented that last night's blog entry was a smidge "depressing." I read it again, and ya know, he's right! I thought it was funny last night, but I'd had a couple of glasses of wine, and I guess it was a bit of a downer...

So, let's keep up the theme and liven things up a bit!

I'm looking forward to moving to our new house because it looks like there are lots of kids in the neighborhood. That will be lots of fun for Chase and will go a long way towards solving the TV problem.

The neighborhood pool we will have access to has a big slide! We love a pool with a big slide.

Chase has a plan for his project and we can easily finish it this weekend.

I have a hubby who got up at the crack of dawn, but I got to sleep in! Aaaahhhh.

My friend Shelly told me about her hairdresser who is great and NOT too spendy! No Supercut for me!

My hair actually looked pretty good yesterday. It's still too long, but it showed me it can be done.

Our new house has a really cool koi pond in the backyard with soothing water sounds to sleep by.

We are really enjoying our "Financial Peace University" class at church and are well on our way to getting out of debt!

Dave Ramsey ROCKS!

We have tons of people coming to visit as well as plans to see friends this summer. It's going to be a fun summer!

Although our new house will not have a pool, we have something this summer that we didn't have last summer...multiple friends with a pool!

My potential thyroid problem will explain my exhaustion and my weight gain, and meds will fix them! So, personally, I'm lookin' forward to a little hypo-thyroid...

I have a wonderful hubby who makes a great living for us and supports me in my desire to be available for the kiddos.

Our daughter is pulling all A's & B's at college.

Our son is pulling all A's in 5th grade.

Gotta love kids who work hard in school.

I have a great life here in Sin City. A year ago, I couldn't imagine I'd have said that, but it's true.

So, no intervention necessary for me - I was trying to be funny last night, and I guess humor mixed with a little merlot makes for a little dark humor. All is well here in the STQ household. My family still drives me batty, but I wouldn't trade 'em for the world! And I hope they would say the same about me...

Deep Thoughts

Honestly, I have no ideas on which to base this blog.

My son and hubby are watching Smackdown (sigh).

My son has a project due on Tuesday that he has not yet finished (double sigh).

My daughter has just finished her freshman year in college.

It's really hot here, and it's not even summer yet.

I subbed in a class I love today...and hated almost every second of it.

I almost had to do a "take down" of a kid today (no, that is not related to the Smackdown comment) and I am NOT allowed to do so.

I am exhausted all the time, have gained 15 pounds in less than a year and have been told that I may have a hypo-thyroid by my doctor.

My doctor keeps re-checking my thyroid. Which means every time he tells me I am borderline hypo-thyroid, he makes me an appointment for 3 months in the future to check it again. (We're currently on blood draw number 3...)

I mean, how many freakin' times do you have to check the silly thing? You're killin me, man.

I wonder who reads my blog from Marysville, Tennessee?

I pulled a muscle in my neck while WATCHING my kids do a music class at school today. I mean, what's up with that? Ok, so, I'm 40. Does EVERYTHING have to fall apart at once? Seriously.

I say "seriously" and "really " way way seriously too much. I mean, really.

I'm worried about moving into our new house. At first, I loved it. This past weekend I saw it again. I don't like it anymore and I'm worried about that.

I love our car! I did hear that the Ford Taurus tends to have transmission problems at 75K miles. And we have 62K. BUT, we have the warranty that will cover the transmission, so I've decided not to worry about that. Much.

My hair is awful - and I'm considering a Super Cut cause it fits in our budget. :(

I can't wait until summer. In general, I hate the summer. I'm worried about the inherent problems caused by the simultaneous utterance of those two statements.

My hubby is doing the dishes. Part of me feels guilty that I am drinking a glass of wine and blogging instead of helping or doing something constructive. The other part of me continues to drink the wine...

I wonder if my dog has fleas.

Divine hubby and Chase are discussing going to see the new Star Trek movie. I wonder if it makes me a bad mom to think about the nap I could take while they go see the movie.

I read a book to my kids today called The Berenstains Bears Watch Too Much TV and really identified with it. :(

I desperately love Divine Hubby but he drives me nuts.

Ditto for Chase and Meg.

I think I love the robo-dwarf hamster most of all. She's easy. As long as I feed her and clean her cage regularly, she stays alive and requires nothing more. Yep, that clinches it. She's my favorite family member.

I have a new square purple phone that I think I love more than the hamster.

I wonder if that makes me materialistic.

I wonder if it matters if I'm materialistic.

I wonder if anyone is continuing to read this silliness...

Absence, teacher appreciation, magic shows and Mother's day

Yeah yeah, I know. It's been awhile since I blogged...sorry to the three people who regularly read my blog and have been complaining!

1. I have been absent because I have been working a lot, sitting at the soccer fields, helping on ten thousand school projects, having fun with family and friends who have come to visit and so on!! No excuses, I know.

2. This week has been teacher appreciation week at Chase's school. It's a small school and we recently had a big fundraiser that took up a lot of people's time. Therefore, a small number of us actually had time to help out. So, I've been helping out with that a lot. Today, I washed the teachers' cars for about 3 hours in the hot Vegas sun...

3. We saw a great magic show when the 'rents were here last weekend! Lance Burton is one amazing dude. He can make all kinds of things (and people) disappear!!

4. It's almost Mother's Day!! I got my present today from my sweet boys. A VERY cute little purple Lotus phone from Sprint. The best part is, it came with a holder that fits on my purse strap so it is always at my fingertips. I have enjoyed playing with it today!!!

So, that's what I've been up to. Nothing earth-shattering, nothing dramatic, nothing fabulous nor horrible, just life. It's funny how busy a life can get when you're just livin' it!!

So, here's to life. To busy-ness, to slow-ness, to school, play, sports, work, family, projects and all of the other things that take up all of our time. Enjoy them all!!

Fish Barbeque

Yesterday, I subbed in a kind of class I haven't subbed in before. It was a mentally-challenged elementary class. I have often subbed in an emotionally-challenged class, but never mentally-challenged. I was unprepared for the differences. I guess I had never thought that the challenge for the emotionally-challenged kids is NOT their ability, it is their will to conform to your direction. Often, the emotionally-challenged kids are very bright. They simply don't want to do what you want them to do. Period. Makes it tough to get anything done, admittedly.

A mentally-challenged kid is perfectly willing to do what you want them to do, however, they often do not know how to do it. Several of the kids had Downs Syndrome, one had severe Cerebral Palsy (the always-smiling and adorable Angelica), and the others had various and sundry disorders not visible to the untrained eye.

One little boy, whose name was Logan, LOVED Star Wars. He also absolutely could not remember my name. He asked me no fewer than 9,347 times what my name was. (And, let's be clear. My name is easy. 4 letters. One syllable. Household item. Seriously.) So, finally I asked him what we could do to help him remember my name. He said he could probably remember it if I would call him Luke Skywalker when he remembered it. I thought that was brilliant. He (mostly) remembered my name for the rest of the day and said it every single time I walked by him, and then I would grin and mutter... "Hi Luke Skywalker." He would flash me the biggest smile when I did that. I promise you, he said my name 10,000 times after that, and every time, I answered him "Yes, Luke Skywalker," or "Hi Luke Skywalker," or "Good job, Luke Skywalker." He was adorable, and I hope he's up for adoption soon...

There was another little girl who had an interesting "style," shall we say. Let's call her T. T was about 10, but looked like she was 6. Her eyes were completely crossed, to the point that I'm not sure she could actually see very much. T loves pink, Hello Kitty, taking off her shoes and purses of any sort. T says very little - she mostly parrots what she hears. While many members of the class actually showed evidence of learning, T really seemed oblivious to everything going on. When T was left alone for any period of time, she would jump out of her seat and go hit someone. Just cause she wanted to.

Towards the middle of the day, T began to get out of control. She had her own aide, which helped tremendously, but even with her own aide, it was hard to control T. It was very hard to understand what she said, which by the end of the day, we were quite thankful for.

By the end of the day, T had degenerated to the point where she was sitting in the rocking chair muttering to herself and shouting two things in the teachers' general direction:

FISH

and

BARBEQUE

NOW, as I said, she has a severe speech impediment. She was ticked off because we wouldn't let her continue to run around and hit everyone like she wanted to and that we had taken her purse away due to her behavior. So, she was mad. Consequently, what she was actually saying was VERY different from Fish...and Barbeque. And actually Barbeque isn't accurate...it sounded like Barfaque. Say that out loud once (but not near your kids, please) and see if you can catch the swear word hidden in an innocuous-sounding word. I bet she said both words 500 times during the day. Mostly within the last hour of class. It was sad, because she was simply parroting what she hears. In order for that to be nearly the only thing she says, she would have to hear those two things A LOT in her life. The aide told me she lives with her grandmother because her mom is in jail. For prostitution. Again. Sounds to me like T has had it rough in her young life.

Poor little T. That's the tough part of teaching special ed. Sometimes you see the kids that simply have no chance whatsoever in life. I think T is one of those kids. I don't see her ever having a life of her own, nor having anyone who cares enough to give her any kind of life. I really wonder what will happen to T. It's really one of the things that makes subbing hard. You get thrown into these kids' lives for a short period and often you never see them again. Say a prayer for little T, Logan, Angelica and all of their friends. It's a tough world out there for them.

Hey, I get points for tryin.

I, as a good environmentally-minded citizen, purchased those cool reusable grocery bags a year ago or so. I do, occasionally remember to actually bring them into the store, and then I pat myself on the back! Today was one such momentous day.

So, I proudly handed my cloth bags to the bagger at my grocery store to have them filled with my goodies.

I paid very little attention to the bagging process - frankly, I was wondering if the budget (or the waistline) would allow for a teeny tiny Reese's cup...

When I got out to the car and unloaded the bags into my trunk, I noticed that they were full of plastic bags. The bagger had loaded all of my groceries into plastic bags, then very helpfully transferred said plastic bags full 'o groceries into my environmentally-friendly cloth bags. So I made it home with 8 environmentally-friendly bags with a total of 23 environmentally-polluting plastic bags inside them.

Sigh. But you gotta give me credit for trying, right? And I didn't get the Reese's cups! :)

He loves me...

It is 9:00pm here in Sin City. I realized that I had neglected to retrieve the mail, so I went across the street to our mailbox to get said mail. Upon arrival, I noticed that there was a set of keys left in the mailbox immediately to the left of our mailbox. That keyring had a house key and a car key on it along with the mailbox key.

Now, our next-door neighbor is an elderly single man named Chuck. Whom I love dearly. And who can talk the paint off of the wall...

I figured the keys MIGHT be Chuck's. So I went to his house and knocked on his door. They weren't his keys, but he wanted to discuss whose they might be. So he invited me in for a chat.

I was in his house maybe 3 minutes.

During that time, divine hubby and Chase decided that I'd been gone entirely too long and came out looking for me. Apparently they yelled and screamed my name. I guess it's a testimony to the insulation in Chuck's house because I never heard a thing.

So, deciding I had been abducted by aliens, divine hubby called 9-1-1. And reported me missing.

Luckily, I came home before the police showed up to drag the river for my dead body...

So, if anyone asks you if divine hubby loves his little STQ, the answer is a resounding YES!!! I feel loved.

Divine hubby, on the other hand, is a little peeved at me, but he'll get over it. :)

11 yr old boy free to a good home

First, please let me tell you. I am 40. I have a college degree from an excellent school. I am well-traveled and consider myself to be well-versed in many different subjects. I am pretty good at Jeopardy, excellent at Wheel of Fortune and kick butt in Scrabble.

Scene: aforementioned ADULT mother and 11-yr-old son playing Scrabble.
Chase: Mom? Is alined a word?
Mom: Yep. (I looked it up AFTER THE FACT to make sure, and alined is another way to spell aligned, just FYI. I tried to get through that loophole, but alas)
Chase: Ok. (grinning slightly)

Please take a look at the top row in this picture and observe the word alined crossed with the word EQUATOR. Observe the triple word score under the T in said word.

Now look at the score sheet. An obscure rule that we follow here in the STQ household is that if you use all 7 of your letters in one turn, you get a bonus of 35 points. Let me help you with the math. Equator netted the little darling 17 points. Times 3, that is 51. Then you add the 7 points from alined to get 58. Then you add the 35 bonus points, and we are, my friends, at 93. For. one. stinkin. word. What was the final result you ask??

You will see that one side says 201 points. That side is MY score. The other side says 253 points. That, my friends is my ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD SON'S score.

This is what a cheeky little 11-yr-old looks like when he spanks his mama at Scrabble.

Feel free to come collect him at any time. He is currently sitting on the curb with all of his worldly belongings in a trash bag. We do not tolerate such disrespect in the STQ household. :)

Da Wind! Da Wind!

I feel like Tattoo from Fantasy Island pointing out the obvious to Mr. Rourke! It's windy here in Lost Wages today, um, I mean, this week, um, I mean this month, um, well, it's just really freakin' windy here a LOT! Honestly, I'm surprised there is a single palm frond or leaf left on a tree anywhere here in Southern Nevada. And our pool pump has gotten all plugged up for the umpteen billionth time, so the handy dandy pool vacuum simply sits in one spot on the bottom, being useless. Our landlords COULD have some doodah installed so that wouldn't happen, but they refuse, so we are manually scooping plant life out of the pool on a regular basis (the horror!!).

Loved the pool last summer, but I don't think I'll miss it much when we move.

Yes, I said the M word.

Hide the children's eyes.

I guess I should have warned you that this blog had adult content today. Sorry to be so graphic in my language. My apologies if I offended anyone.

Cause MOVE is a 4-letter word, don'tcha know. At least, it is to me. Thankfully, this MOVE is simply across town. To another house that doesn't have a pool. I think we will miss the hot tub the most - with the nice cool evenings, you can often find me and Divine Hubby soaking in the tub with a glass of merlot. We have actually put "hot tub" as a budget item, in that we are saving to purchase one so hopefully by next Winter/Spring, we may actually have one of our own.

So, the point of this blog entry is just to say hi.

Howaya?

Howrthekids?

Gladtoseeya.

Nothing earth-shattering (thank goodness), no big moves or life changes (and for this, I will thank GOD) to report. We here in Las Vegas are enjoying the beautiful 75-80 degree weather, no 'midty, crystal-clear blue skies and oh, yeah, the WIND. Hold on tight Chase, we're going outside!!!

So no one got arrested.

A rolicking good time was had by all and no one was arrested.

Well, maybe this one prostitute we saw, but that's a WHOLE other story!

Five of my college sorority sisters came in for the weekend and we had SO much fun! It's funny - a couple of these women I had neither seen nor talked to for nearly 20 years. But, when we all got together, it was like no time had passed at all. We sat up talking until 3am, we ate at least one meal entirely off of the appetizer and dessert menu at a swanky restaurant, we drank multiple fruity, girly martinis, we laughed and laughed, and we enjoyed being together. We told stories about people and events most of us had forgotten about, we reminisced about the good and bad times we went through together, we recited our pledge class order multiple times, we saw a TERRIBLE Vegas show that made us all deathly afraid of bunnies, and did I mention we laughed?

Friends are a very important part of any woman's life. I love my friends, and due to my constantly relocating lifestyle, I have friends scattered throughout the US. (And one in Singapore - hi Deirdre!!) The fun part is that although your lives take different paths, and even if you don't see each other for years, or even decades - when you live WITH other people and share your life with them, you take right up where you left off. That, to me, is the importance of friends. Sharing your life and your experiences with other people - notably women!

So, cheers to Valerie, Debby, Cathy, Dea and Serena. Let's make it an annual event and include even more of our sisters and friends. Thanks for coming here and making it a memorable weekend for me!! I love you guys.

Girls' weekend

I am really looking forward to tomorrow. Five of my college friends are coming in for the weekend! I had to snort a laugh when my dad asked if they were all staying at my house. Um. NO! I'm not even staying at my house! I live in Vegas, baby, so we're all staying on the Strip.

Did you know that people who live in Vegas don't live in the Strip hotels? I didn't until I moved here!!! There are actually houses here...and schools...and churches...and grocery stores! Shocking news, I am aware. Although I wouldn't mind living at the Bellagio...or the Wynn. Hmmmm. Again, I digress. (Happens a lot, have you noticed??)

So my two college roommates and three other sorority sisters (yes, I was in a sorority, and you can stop laughing and making fun of me RIGHT NOW...) are showing up between 9am and 1pm tomorrow for a weekend of fun, frivolity, martinis, buffets and lots and lots of laughs. Maybe even a Cirque show or a massage but NO kids (well, one is pregnant, so we'll have to let Cathy bring her kid, I guess), NO husbands (ex or otherwise) and NO STRESS most of all. This is going to be a no-stress, no-pressure, no-responsibility weekend.

So, my friends, I'm off until next week. If I call you, will you post my bail??? Divine hubby has already said I'm on my own if I get arrested. And the way I remember some of these wild sisters of mine, it's a distinct possibility. (Just kidding, mom...)

I guess I'm on the right track!!

So, I think I have shared our newest obsession - we are big Dave Ramsey fans and have drunk the Kool-Aid in a big way. Most of my sentences start with..."well, you know what Dave would say...". I think I'm getting annoying, but hey, it's a gift.

Anyway, we are facilitating his Financial Peace University class at our church and really enjoying it. We started with about 50 in the class, and at week 5 (a gorgeous Spring day here in Vegas, I might add), we had 40 in attendance last night. Not too bad! Dave loves nothing better than a good catch-phrase, and one of his favorites is: "If your broke friends are criticizing you, then you're on the right track."

Well, my friends, we are officially on the right track. I have had more people than I can count tell me that we are in danger of ruining our credit rating, never being able to rent a car again, will probably never again own a house, what will we do in an emergency, and on and on and on. Now, I do not know if those friends are officially BROKE, to be honest, but they are certainly in love with credit and think if I don't share that love-affair, I'm a nut.

The way I look at it is this:
1. You CAN rent a car with a debit card.
2. You CAN get your money back if a debit card is used fraudulently.
3. You CAN have a financial emergency and pay for it with savings (we now have 3 months' worth of expenses saved in the bank, which feels really good, I'll tell ya!!)
4. Your credit will NOT tank as soon as you cut up the credit card.

And as far as buying a house goes - with all of the money we have spent getting in and out of debt over the past 20 years, we could have bought a house with cash.

We are renting here in Sin City, and have decided to continue renting. We may buy a condo or something in the next few years, but not a house. We're saving for our retirement house, and barring giant financial disasters, we will be able to pay cash for said house when we retire. No, it won't be a 4-story mansion with a media room, an upstairs maid and a home gym, but we will be able to afford a nice place in one of the 4-5 areas of the country we are considering. And if the house is too big, the kids might want to come back and live with us, right???

So, as I said - we have drunk the Kool-Aid. We do not have a credit card any longer. We still have a balance...but that will be gone soon. I walk around quoting Dave and his catch phrases and will probably continue to.

"I am an American and I refuse to participate in this recession."
"I'm going to live like no one else so later I can live like no one else."
"Broke is Normal. Be Weird."
"Debt is dumb, cash is king and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice."

And my favorite one of all - and one I hope to scream into the phone on Dave's radio show soon:

"WE'RE DEBT FREE!!!!!!"

Hey one more thing before I jump off my soapbox...if you're at all curious about Dave Ramsey, he's holding a town hall meeting that's being shown at churches around the country on April 23 at 8pm EST. Check out his website to find a location in your area - it's free and it just might change the way you think about the recession. Who knows, maybe you'll decide to join us in not participating in it!!!

Paranoia firmly in check once again

When I went to bed last night, my paranoia was running high. Still no jobs on the Clark County website. I was almost certain that I was right. And ready to bust some heads over the issue.

I had a great self-righteous conversation with the head of sub services in the shower this morning. Full of "I did the right thing"s and "you have no right to"s and "you should be
ashamed"s and "I'm calling a press conference"s. I do some of my best work with scalding hot water cascading over my head.

Then I checked out the website when I got out of the shower. Full of boys' PE jobs, lousy with metal shop jobs at the correctional facility and rife with bratty elementary jobs. Luckily, I already had a job lined up for today, so I didn't have to choose from all of those lovely options. But that website told me that I'm not banned.

Whew.

I know, I know, no one who read my posting yesterday actually bought into anything I wrote. It was nutty, paranoid and out there, but that's how this particular blonde's brain works. When someone says they want to talk to me about something, I ALWAYS immediately figure I'm in trouble and start wondering what random sin I committed. It's funny. And pathetic, but honestly, that's my immediate response.

So, I narrowly escaped death and destruction once again, I'm pleased to say! I live to sub another day... :)

Cough cough wheeze and revenge

So, most of you know, I'm a substitute teacher. But do you know that I have suffered through AT LEAST 9,546 colds since October? Well, I have. And don't challenge my math. I'm a teacher. I'll put you in detention.

I'm getting another one.

You know, I take Airborne. I use hand sanitizer and wash my hands as often as possible. I take obscene quantities of vitamin C. I exercise. I (at least attempt to) eat right. I get 7 hours of good sleep every night. And STILL. I'm sneezing, sniffling, coughing and chewing gum to soothe my stupid sore throat. These little germ factories are killing me!!!

I told you all of that first because I suspect most of you are reading this because it has the word "revenge" in the title. Thought I'd whine a bit while I had your attention...

I think I am the victim of some nasty revenge from the Clark County School District. Remember the Aide I reported for being mean to the Early Childhood kids? Well, on Saturday, I got a letter that said "At my request" I was no longer able to accept jobs from that school. WHAAAAT? I have a job at that school this Wednesday, this Friday, next Tuesday and another 3 times already in April (with a different teacher - I'm not working with Miss Maggie again). I did not request any such thing. So, this morning, I called the Sub Services office and asked them to fix that. They "fixed" it.

I also noticed that there were NO jobs listed on Saturday. NO jobs listed on Sunday. NO jobs listed Sunday night. NO jobs listed this morning at 6..6:30...7...7:30 or 8. And there are NO jobs now.

Hmmmmm. Call me paranoid, but I've never ever seen a Monday morning where there weren't at least 3-4 jobs listed by 6am. So, I think there are two likely scenarios. One is that they are having trouble with their website. The other is that they have freakin' blocked me completely cause I'm a troublemaker. Now, I don't usually dispute the title of troublemaker, but as a teacher, am I not supposed to do what is in the best interest of the children? Do I not have a duty to report abuse if I see it? And it's not like I called Channel 8 and did a press conference about it on the 5:00 news. I went through the proper channels and did what I was supposed to do.

SO...if there are still NO jobs tomorrow morning, I'm going to trot my trouble-makin' booty down to Sub Services to see what the problem is. I'm not going to take this lying down and they are NOT going to squeeze me out for following directions and doing the right thing.

Say a prayer for me...I'm kinda concerned about this. As soon as I post this, I'm going to check again. Luckily, I'm already working four days this week...

If you want something you've never had...

do something you've never done.

That was one of the themes of the evening here in Lost Wages, NV. My dear friend Lora is visiting me from Texas, and she is a Director for Mary Kay (ooh, ahh). That means she has lots of bling, lots of lip gloss and (almost) has a CAR!!! While in Las Vegas, she planned to attend a weekly MK sales meeting...and she dragged me along...

In my defense, I told her up front that I wasn't interested in selling MK, and if this was a recruiting meeting, I didn't want to go. She assured me it wasn't, and although the "opportunity was presented to me," it wasn't. No pressure, no guilt and no disappointed looks when I didn't whip my checkbook out to sign up at the end of the meeting.

What was fun about the meeting is that it was completely, 100%, totally positive. EVERYONE got cheered for, hugged, praised and I think everyone left with a present (including me!!)! If you hadn't made any sales during the past week, you were praised for trying and encouraged to keep at it. If you sold $1, then "think of the contact you made in that person!" If you sold $2000, then WAHOO! Everybody's happy. It was almost uncomfortable, it was so positive.

That uncomfortable-ness made me think. And made me evaluate WHY in Heaven's name I would be uncomfortable because other people are positive, cheerful and encouraging. So, instead of feeling uncomfortable, I decided to enjoy it. Enjoy the yummy snacks (loved me a cupcake!!), the free makeup, the smiling women and the joy and celebration all around me. Enjoy the hard work and success being shared by this remarkable group of women. And enjoy that I got to enjoy it for the evening.

So thanks, Lora, for dragging me to a Mary Kay meeting. I'm still not planning to sell MK, I doubt I will return to another meeting next Tuesday night, and I really can't afford to use MK cosmetics right now, but it was a very uplifting, positive and fun evening. And Lora's a great MK lady, so if you need any makeup, call me! :)

It did not get better.

So, I have had numerous emails and FB entries asking if day 2 subbing with this horrible woman was any better than day 1. Um, I thought yes, but ultimately no.

I thought yes because:
-In the morning, she actually smiled at me twice.
-In the morning, she was amazingly kind to one boy who is in a wheelchair, blind and has numerous disabilities. She was fantastic with him. I was impressed.
-In the morning, she was almost nice...I think twice.

So, I decided that yesterday, maybe her husband had left her for his 20-yr-old secretary, her dog ran away and her kitchen caught on fire. Benefit of the doubt. Everyone has a bad day, right? Yep.

Then came lunch.

Now, let me explain - this is a pre-K class, so they only come half-day. So, we had one group of 8 kids from 9-11:30 and another group of 8 kids from 12:45-3:15.

So, when lunch came (even before the kids arrived...), she became silent again. One-word answers (if she bothered to answer me at all), very little information, leaving the room without saying a single word about when she would be back, scowling, etc.)

I've decided her meds must wear off at noon.

But I digress...

The afternoon was HORRIBLE. She was horrible to me, but you know what? I'm a grownup. I can handle it, and I am aware that (gasp) maybe EVERYONE doesn't like me. (I know, I know, hard to imagine, right???) So, no biggie. The problem was, she was also horrible to the kids. Now, remember. These kids are FOUR years old. These kids are VERY low-income. These kids all have IEP's (meaning some sort of significant learning disability or challenge). THESE ARE FRAGILE KIDS WITH LIFE'S DECK STACKED AGAINST THEM.

And to these children, she said (all of these were either yelled or spoken in an icy, cold, you're-an-idiot tone of voice):

"What language do you even understand??"
"In Kindergarten, no one will help you open your milk or your lunch. You will have to do it all by yourself and not be such a baby."
"Hurry up!" (yelled over and over and over and over and over...)
"Why aren't you listening?"
"Go put that in your cubby. GO. Did you hear me? Do you understand? GO PUT THAT IN YOUR CUBBY!" (again, over and over and over to children whose mental capacity is extremely low and who barely understand English.

She NEVER said please. NEVER. She ordered the kids around all day in a stern voice.

She was completely annoyed all afternoon. She treated the kids (and me) like they were stupid. She constantly shouted at the kids for not doing things quickly enough.

The bottom line. While she never laid a hand on the kids, she beat them all day with her words and her tone. She is an unkind woman (after lunch). By the end of the day, the kids looked terrified and couldn't do a single thing without looking at Maggie to see if she approved.

So, I am going to the Sub office today to tell them and ask them what the protocol is for reporting her. She needs to be taken out of this class before she does any more damage to these precious, fragile, delicate and already-damaged children. I do not like confrontation, and I am terrified that this will be one. But sometimes you have to stand up for people who can't stand up for themselves. I teach that to Chase every day, and it's time for Chase's mama to practice what she preaches. This could go badly for me...but I hope clearer heads will prevail and she will be dealt with and removed from this class.

Say a prayer for me - I'm a peacemaker and this is not easy for me but she clearly hates the afternoon kids and something has to be done to protect them.

I mean, I'm a friendly gal!

Today, I subbed in an early-childhood class. There was an aide (yay!!) and we'll call her Maddie. The regular teacher was there when I arrived at school, and we chatted a minute, then she introduced me to a woman saying, "And this is your wonderful aide. Maddie is so wonderful - I just love her!! She knows all about the routine and knows the kids, and will be soooo much help to you!" I'm thrilled - never have I disliked a class when there was an aide. So, I shook Maddie's less-than-enthusiastic, limp-wristed hand, introduced myself to her down-trodden face and accompanied her slower-than-a-turtle's-pace walk to the classroom. Where she sat in her chair. So, I sat in the chair at the desk opposite her and looked at her, expecting to have a conversation about when we get the kids, how we get the kids, how many kids there are, what to watch out for, what we're studying, or ANYTHING. I saw the top of her head.

WELL.

Ain't met nobody yet I can't carry on a conversation with, so I started...

Me: So, how many kids do we have?
Her: 8
Me: How many are boys?
Her: 4
Me: What time do we go get them?
Her: 12:40 (I subbed half day today)
Me: What are we studying this week?
Her: (saying absolutely nothing as she throws a set of papers at me with the lesson plan on it)
Me: Oh, the letter P! Are we asking the kids to tell us words that start with P? I have a funny story of when my son Chase was in pre-K, they were learning the letter P and he...
Her: (completely interrupting me) No.
Me: O...K... so what do we do?
Her: (again saying nothing, but looking at me like I'm an idiot as she shook her identical packet of paper at me)
Me: O...K... (so I study the lesson plans) Do I read the book first or do circle time first?
Her: (again with the idiot look) whatever.
Me: Well, I want to do it right so the kids have their routine...
Her: There's no routine. Like I said, do what you want.

So that's how the day went. Me trying my very best to be cheerful and get the kids to talk (collectively, they maybe spoke 20 words in 3 hours), to play with them while getting them to learn, etc etc etc, all of the things I have always done when subbing in an early-childhood class. If she spoke at all, it was to reprimand ME for helping the kids. "They're not babies. Quit helping them, miss!" I must have heard that a thousand times. So I started standing around watching the kids as they silently did whatever they were doing feeling useless and stupid. When the schedule said it was time for recess, I asked if it was time to start getting ready to go outside. She said, while again, giving me the idiot look, "If YOU want to take them, YOU can I'm NOT taking them. It's too windy." (20-30 mph winds do not constitute forcing 4 year olds to stay inside in MY book, so I took em while she glared at me.)

When I turned the CD player on, she yelled at me that I was pushing the tape buttons (I wasn't) and that it was a "C-D, NOT A TAPE" and again with the idiot look.

If I tied a kid's shoes so he wouldn't HURT HIMSELF, I got reprimanded.

If I attempted to help clean up a spill, I got reprimanded.

When I zipped up a kid's jacket, I got reprimanded.

At one point, she simply walked out of class. Didn't say, I'll be back in a sec, I'm on my break, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm going to go commit several felonies, NOTHING. Came back in about 10 minutes and reprimanded me that we weren't supposed to be reading books at this time. Couldn't I follow the schedule?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

By the end of the day, I was at the end of my rope. All I could get (if anything) out of her were one-syllable answers. Yes. No. And that's basically it. It's REALLY hard to have a conversation with someone who will only give you very basic information. So, we got the kids ready to go, and I said "Do all of the kids ride the same bus?" She said:

(you guessed it) No.

And we walked on to the busses.

Finally, all of the kids were gone, and I turned to say goodbye to her. She said, "See you tomorrow!" with a big smile and walked away.

...because I signed up for a two day gig (and tomorrow is ALLLLLL DAYYYYY). I'll NEVER do that again!

Adventures in subbing take...oh who knows?

I subbed in a middle school English class yesterday. Am I crazy? Um, there's a distinct possibility, but that's really a topic for another posting.

They were doing their standardized testing this week, so the kids were nuts, the schedules were equally nuts and nothing was business as usual. Since I haven't been trained in the fine art of reading directions, handing out booklets and sharpening pencils, they told me I can't proctor the test, so they had me roaming the halls and helping out by escorting kids to the bathroom, watching the class while the teacher had a bathroom break, taking notes from teachers to the administration, etc. etc. etc. It actually was a lot more interesting and exciting than I thought it would be. First of all, I got paid to walk non-stop for 2 hours. Exercise bonus, right?? Plus, as I have divulged in an earlier post, I LOVE to solve people's problems, and for two hours, I was an official problem-solver! YAY!!! Then there was a teacher whose ex-husband is apparently stalking her, so I got to run to get security, tell them what I saw and heard which was all very exciting!

So, after the testing was completed, I started to follow the lesson plans for the remainder of the day. As usual, some classes were good, some classes were awful, but nothing really exciting happened...until we heard the announcement that we were now in "Shelter-In-Place" and for the teachers to prepare the classroom appropriately. (It's basically lock-down for the school and since they didn't say drill, although I figured it probably was, I was mildly alarmed at this point...)

Luckily, I am paranoid about these drills and have been told that they love to pick on subs during these drills. So, I had already found the emergency backpack and looked through it, mentally getting ready in case a drill (or worse) should happen during my day. I hopped to, put the green card on the door saying all students were accounted for, locked the door and told the kids to calmly continue working. The Asst Principal came to my door, smiled and gave me a big thumbs-up. YAY! And yes, it was a drill. Whew!

So, then the principal came in at the end of the day and asked me if I would stop by his office before I left. I said sure and mentally went over what I could possibly have done wrong...cause that's the kind of paranoid person I am... then decided it was probably about the stalker.

I was right, but as I walked into the principal's office, he greeted me solemnly and closed the door behind me. Gulp. Cue paranoia again. Anyway, it was about the ex-stalker dude, and after I gave my statement, he thanked me and I left. On my way out, I walked right into the middle of a fight between two kids. (sigh) Thankfully, the school administration was already on it, so I merely ducked to avoid blows and ran to the sanctity of my car.

Have I mentioned that subbing is definitely an adventure? Yesterday was, in spades!!! Can't wait to see what next week brings...

DST woes

Oh my - it's been a LOOOONG time since I posted! In my defense, I've been subbing a lot lately, and it really takes it out of me! Sorry to my loyal readers...are there any left??? Were there any to begin with?? :)

I HATE when the clocks change in the Spring. I absolutely cannot believe it is time for that horrible event again already! Seriously, I just got used to the Fall one.

DST drives me nuts because my inherent sense of what time it is is thrown all the way off. I mean, honestly. It could be 4pm or 3am. I got no idea after this Sunday. And am I alone in the opinion that the Spring one makes every day loooooonnnnnggggeeeerrrr? When you are a sub, that's the last thing you want! Maybe I could only sub in the Fall and Winter? Um, probably not.

I've read and read about what this silly DST is all about, and it seems like it's about farming. Um, universe? I ain't a farmer (ewww bugs and wormy stuff). So, can I skip it already? We live in Nevada, and that's pretty close to Arizona (especially when you live in Vegas - AZ is in our back yard!!), so I think I'll just skip it this year. This is America, right? If we can teach our kids that there's no such thing as absolute truth, that everyone should win an award or no one should and that 1+1=3 is correct if it would hurt your self esteem to say you are wrong, then I should be able to say NO. I'ts not 2pm, it's 3pm and class is over. GO HOME NOW.

Right???

I hate DST...

Birthdays

I turned (ahem) 40 this year (cough cough). It was a little more difficult than I thought it would be, but I anticipated that it might be, so I spent the last year commenting (when asked my age) "I'll be 40 in September." Seemed like I might get kinda used to it if I said it umpteen zillion times. And, honestly, I think it helped. I still write (ahem) when disclosing my age, but it doesn't really bother me.

I have a dear friend here in Las Vegas named "D" and today is her birthday. She is (ahem) 50 today. We were supposed to go out to dinner with D and her hubby tonight, but her hubby called this morning and cancelled because D is too depressed about the whole shebang. I, being the control-freak that I am, tried to convince him that going out was the perfect antidote to depression, but he held his ground and it's all cancelled.

**My control-freak tendencies run deep, and I have a deep and abiding conviction that I am always right, so this was hard for me to take. Just ask Divine Hubby!**

I then tried to convince him to let me come over and give D her birthday present to cheer her up. He kindly, but firmly said D is in bed, has been all day, and that "It's just not a good time, STQ."

Harumph.

I truly believe if D's hubby would let me come over, I could help her climb out of the pit she's in. But, you know - it's not really my decision, is it? (again, harumph) I don't like it when things are out of my control. Or when people don't take my oh-so-brilliant advice as the gospel which it obviously is. :)

Maybe STQ has just a teensy bit too high of an opinion of herself? Yeah, maybe. It's been suggested before. But, it's absolutely out of love and concern for my good friend D. If I were in a birthday-induced pit, I would want every friend I ever had to show up, bring me presents, drag me to dinner, ply me with girly martinis and convince me that 50 is the new 30 or something. (Remember that when I'm under the bed crying in a deep blue funk 10 years from now, ok?? )

Anyway, say a prayer for my friend D. She is such a loving, giving, generous, warm and wonderful woman, and I am very sad that she is taking this birthday so hard.

On not getting a job today

As most of you know, I am a substitute teacher. This job has its perks, and its drawbacks. At first, I didn't enjoy it at all. Since I've been doing it for 4-5 months, I have learned how to make it better. You take the jobs you want and NEVER EVER take the jobs you have learned you hate. Makes you life easier.

Its perks are that if your child is ill, you are ill, or something comes up, you simply don't take a job. What other position would allow that?? Um, none. Also, I get to spend the day with some amazing people and some amazing kids. I say that because I've learned where the amazing people and kids are and where they are not.

I have not been kind to our local public school district on this blog. I still believe that it is in our best interest for ME to immerse myself there so Chase does not have to be immersed there. In general. But, through subbing, I have met some truly wonderful, caring and amazing teachers. I'd like to make a little "STQ school" and hire those fantastic teachers I have met to teach Chase. Unfortunately, I couldn't really pay much, so I doubt that would work out well...

Today, the only jobs available were:

1. Teaching English at the local juvenile detention facility. (Um, I ain't doin' that under any circumstances and God bless whoever takes those jobs.)

2. A Boys' PE job. (Can't do that - cause I ain't a boy.)

3. A Severely-Emotionally-Challenged (SEC) job at a high school. (I've subbed there before, but today it started at 7am, and time-wise, I can't get Chase to school in time to teach that class. But otherwise, I'd take it.)

And that's about it. There was a specials job this morning at an elementary school, but through the magic of the internet, someone else got it before I did.

So, I'm hanging out here today. And it's ok. I'm hoping for something tomorrow, and I already have jobs lined up for Wednesday and Friday.

Today's post is brought to you by Kleenex...

I subbed today in a preschool autism class. What an incredible whirlwind of a day! There was screaming, crying, laughing, spinning, clapping, running, whining and spitting. And that was the first five minutes!! We had 4 autistic 3-4 year olds and 2 non-autistic kids who are in the class to model good behavior to the others. And TWO aides (you know how I love a class with an aide - two is even better!!). One boy was brand new - this was his first day ever in school. He turned three YESTERDAY. Poor baby, by the time he left school at 3:20pm, he was hoarse. He cried the entire day, well, except for the hour or so he napped. He decided I was the one he liked and he clung to me. That is unfortunate because I'm a sub. So, poor little guy, his only friend won't be there tomorrow.

That makes me sad. Makes me feel bad that I ever even held him. Honestly, it would have been better if he had no friend today than have his only friend never show up again. I was trying to help, but I think I did the wrong thing. I can imagine his little face dropping when he comes to that horrible place where he cries all day and the only person he could tolerate at all and who hugged him tight and whispered to him to calm him down isn't there. (sigh)

It was a good day - I love special ed, and the autism class is quickly becoming one of my favorite classes. But, I realized today that I can do more harm than good even when I have only the best of intentions. I'm going to say a prayer for Brian tomorrow that he will LOVE the regular teacher right off the bat.

Poor Brian.

Things you learn when you blog...

I have learned many things since I started blogging nearly a year ago. First, I have re-learned how much I enjoy the discipline of writing every day. Ok, well, almost every day. OK, ONCE A WEEK OR SO. Sheesh, people! Picky, picky. :)

I have also learned a lot about myself. I think that goes with putting your writing out there for everyone and his/her dog to read...and comment on. I have learned that some people think I'm hilarious (thank you to those!!), some people think I'm a good writer (thank you to those!!), some people are related to me and feel a responsibility to keep up (hey, thanks!) and some people just drop in occasionally to make sure I'm still breathing (and thank you for that too).

It has been fun to recount stories that, when they were happening, were not so hilarious, but in the retelling, can make you bust a gut! I especially enjoyed the most recent relocating story. If you have not read that one, check out the end of May 2008. It's quite a journey, and involved me contemplating murder, or at the bare minimum, assault. If I do say so myself, it's hi-freakin'-larious! At the time? Not so much.

Blogging has a way of making me introspective. For example, it was while blogging about it that I realized that I was actually kind of enjoying substitute teaching. I mean, what other job can give you the experiences I've had and allow me to meet such (ahem) colorful characters? Writing about it made me laugh, even when at the time, I was crying. (7-yr-old bathroom cell phoners crying wolf...)

So, thank you for reading, and thank you for commenting, and thank you for dropping in occasionally to make sure I'm still breathing. I hope you'll continue, and I'll try to keep it funny for the most part!

Yet another of my pet peeves

I have lots of pet peeves, and as I get older, they seem to multiply!! My pet peeves run the gamut of silly (apostrophes, open cabinet doors, toilet paper rolls, grocery carts in parking lots, etc) to serious. I have a lot more silly than serious pet peeves, but today I feel compelled to wax eloquently about a serious one.

IT DOES NOT MATTER IF YOU LIKE YOUR IN-LAWS. IT ONLY MATTERS IF THEY LIKE YOU.

Ok, I said it. Now I feel better.

I remember the trip Divine Hubby and I took to his family's house for Christmas in 1993. I was meeting most of them for the first time (and there are a lot of them...), and I was very nervous. I NEVER EVER wondered if I would like them. I was EXTREMELY concerned that they. like. me. I was hoping to join their family, not the other way around. I was determined to make a good impression. I do not remember ever wondering or contemplating if I liked them. As it happens, I absolutely love all of them, but that was not the goal.

There is a member of Divine Hubby's family who is causing great strife and he or she is an in-law. He or she does not like other members of the DH family. He or she is very young, and I am convinced he or she is not aware of the damage being done because of his or her selfish behavior. It is very painful for all of us, and sadly, I see no change coming soon. The DH family has been through more than our share of heartache and sadness in the past few months, and this silly, petty, selfish behavior on the part of this one in-law is only making everything worse. It is such a sad situation, and relationships are becoming strained to the breaking point because of this ONE PERSON. The family member married to this particular in-law is aware of the situation (it is so nasty, it would be impossible not to be) but says he or she is operating on loyalty to his or her spouse as he or she was brought up to do.

On the off-chance the parties I am discussing actually read this blog, I have a message, a plea and a thought.

1. Family is everything. A large part of your family is gone forever, and any offenses or problems can never be fixed with that person. Don't assume the rest of your family will always be there. Will you be able to live with your and your spouse's recent actions if the rest of your family were gone tomorrow? I wouldn't be able to live with it, were it me.

2. Your family is struggling and suffering. I do not diminish your suffering, but all of us wish you would share that with us. We miss you. We love you. We want you to return to the family. Come to Christmas or Thanksgiving celebrations. Call your grandmother. Call your cousins and aunts and uncles. Check in. Get involved, like you used to be. WE MISS YOU!

3. Just a thought. I love Divine Hubby dearly, but if he demanded I have nothing to do with my family, I'd have told him to change his attitude or take a hike years ago. Learn from your family members: sadly, sometimes, spouses come and go. Moms and Dads are forever. You have a great family. DO NOT LET ANYONE TAKE THEM FROM YOU. You are young, and you will regret it bitterly later in life if you continue on this path.

Sorry to get so personal on this blog, but I have such heartache about this situation, and although we have all tried in various ways, it does not seem to have a solution. The only solution, in my opinion, is a 180 degree change in attitude for this one single solitary person. So you don't like a family member or two.

SO WHAT. Being part of a family means embracing them regardless of personality conflicts or dislike. Breaking up a family (which is what you have done) is a terrible terrible TERRIBLE act.

**I understand that there are situations where inlaws or family must be ex-communicated, due to blatant abuse or poisonous relationships. As far as I know, this situation is simply a case of personality conflict. I am not discounting your situation if it is different.**

Car woes

So, I think I blogged about our BRAND NEW CAR!! Ok, so it's 9 years old and it's a Ford Taurus. But it's only got 55K miles on it and so it's nearly new, plus we paid cash for it, so no car payments...yahoo! We are thrilled with it and are now deciding which of our other cars to get rid of so we're back in the garage again. (Divine hubby is quite the "we manage our stuff so that we can park our cars in the garage" snob...)

The Saab is in the shop, probably forever. It has this quirky little thing about not starting sometimes. And it just won't start until it feels like it. It doesn't happen all of the time, but when it does, we are stranded until the car feels like working again. It's a pain, I'll tell ya. But, because it doesn't happen all of the time, no one has been able to figure out why it does this lovely behavior. So, now that we have the NEW car, we have left the Saab with our favorite Saab mechanic and said, "Please drive it until it won't start for you and then FIX IT!" So, he's had it a week. And although the last day I drove it (last Monday) it did its little thing THREE times in one day, it of course has not misbehaved at all for my beloved mechanic. Behaving like a champ. sigh But, the up-side is, that we have three cars now, so our plan was to leave it with the Saab guy until it happens.

That was the plan.

Until yesterday.

When Divine Hubby couldn't get the BRAND NEW car to start either.

sigh

So, now the plan is. DH comes home from work (30 minutes). We drive together to the Saab place (40 minutes). We pick up Saab. Drive home (40 minutes). The next day, DH and Chase and I drive to the Ford place (20 minutes) to drop off the Ford for repairs. Then I take DH to work (30 minutes). Then drive back to take Chase to school (30 minutes). Then possibly to work for me. All while praying the Saab doesn't decide to misbehave during any of that time.

It's exhausting just thinking about it! Thankfully, when one buys a 9-yr-old car (even with only 55K miles on it), one plans ahead and buys the extended warranty. So, we at least don't have to pay for this repair. And hopefully it will only take 1 day, in which time we will completely do all of the above AGAIN to give the Saab back to the mechanic so he can drive it some more.

I sure wish NASA or TSA or somebody would hurry up and develop that cool Star Trek beaming thing. Can you imagine how great that would be? I can't wait.

I am going to tell you how I am feeling RIGHT THIS MOMENT

**...but first, I'm going to digress. I know, how unusual.**

So, I was wondering how a person gets thousands of people to read her blog and gets asked to write guest blogs and becomes a blog goddess. Then it occurred to me that I might have a better chance of any and all of the above if I wrote more than one entry a week.

Huh.

Ok, so back to the topic at hand.

So, STQ, how are you feeling RIGHT THIS MINUTE?

I am feeling superb. We have a new (well extremely used, but new to us) car in the garage, we have some friends who have invited us over for dinner on Valentine's Day, I am enjoying subbing (mostly), the weather has been amazing, I ate a chili dog for dinner (I love me some chili dogs...), we went to church and enjoyed a great service, I am anticipating a girls' weekend here in Sin City, we are leading a Financial Peace University class at our church in a couple of weeks, Chase is officially IN at the school where we want him to go, I have a new book club to look forward to every month, we may be FINALLY getting over the cold we've all been passing around for about 6 weeks, divine hubby enjoys his job, the kitchen is clean (hallelujah), and all is right with the world here in Vegas.

I hope things are great in your corner of the world too. I'm praying for my friends with marriage problems, for my sweet sister-in-law mourning her divine hubby's untimely death, for my friends who have illnesses and for those who have lost jobs or homes due to the economy. I love all of you and wish you a great evening and a great day tomorrow!

Adventures in substituting chapter...6?

I have lost track of how many stories I have told you about my subbing adventures, but today was one of the best.

I subbed in a severely emotionally challenged (SEC) class in an elementary school today. There were 5 boys ranging in age from 6-8 in the class AND I had an aide. (You know how I love a class with an aide...) The boys were absolutely adorable, and the day was a real adventure. For one thing, it was field trip day!! We went bowling for the majority of the morning, and had a wonderful time. Field trips are always fun!

I know I have told you this before, but I love special ed. And these kids were no exception. There was a moment today when one of the boys lost control, overturned a desk in a rage and threw a world-class tantrum. That was a little bit scary, but thankfully, the aide knew how to deal with it and I simply stood out of the line of fire and let her handle it. She had to restrain him physically, and it was hard to watch. That kind of thing happens fairly often in SEC classes, and it was disturbing to me. Another reason I am glad to have an aide!!

Anyway, it was a great day - interesting, educational, entertaining and enjoyable. All the hallmarks of a great day subbing.

Things that have surprised me lately

1. Subbing.
I have really begun to enjoy subbing, much to my surprise! I have figured out what kinds of classes I enjoy and which ones make me want to run screaming from the room, never to return. I am very surprised to realize that my very very favorite kind of sub job is special ed or resource room. And if it's in an at-risk school, more the better. I love those kids! I don't know if it fulfills some need in me to be needed, or if there even IS a deeper reason. I just love those kids and those jobs. So, since no one wants those jobs BUT me, I can almost always get them! The jobs I loathe are the ones I thought I'd like the most. Yuppie, upper-middle-class schools with little yuppie kids in them. Can't stand em!

2. Vegas.
So, although I will still tell you that this isn't my very favorite place that we've lived, it is really growing on me. For one thing, EVERYONE comes here! Or wants to, anyway. A friend revealed on her FB page that she is getting divorced. Within a span of 48 hours, we have a group of about 10 friends coming out here in April for a girls' weekend. And all I have to do is show up! :) No plane ride, no rescheduling my life, just driving the 10 miles down to the strip and having a great time. I am not sure I could have talked all of those people into coming to Green Bay for a weekend... Anyway, we are about to start teaching a class at our church, Chase has been accepted into our first choice school for Jr/Sr High, we have made some good friends and we are beginning to actually like it here. Ok, so I'm the only one who really needed convincing, but it was a tough sell, and I'm glad to report I'm thawing.

3. My book.
I know, I've not discussed my book recently here. Some of you have emailed and asked me about it. I'm sad to tell you that the agent was a fake. A scam. Giving me false hope and wanting my money. I need to start marketing it again, and I will. I just had to admit that first. I got scammed, and it hurt my feelings...

4. My family.
Divine hubby and I celebrated our 14th anniversary last week. It's funny that on one hand, I can't believe it has been that long, and at the same time, I can't imagine my life without him, Megan and Chase. We've had quite a ride - had more than our share of heartache, difficulty and pain, but also more than our share of love, laughter and joy. Sometimes it is easier to dwell on the problems and wonder "why us??" but we've been so blessed in so many ways, that when I think of the blessings, I have to smile. We've created a home in four states now...and we have the friends and family to show for it. I love my hubby and our life together! :)

So, that's my post for today. I'm feeling introspective and grateful for my life, my family, my job and even my zip code!

INAUGERATION

So, now that I have your attention (I sure hope you spotted my mistake already!), I can say how sad it was when I was subbing today that I rounded a corner (in the office, thank you very much), saw a very well-designed board with a lovely picture of President Obama in the middle and the word "INAUGERATION" written across the top.

sigh

At a school, no less.

And in the OFFICE where the ADMINISTRATORS walk by it 1000 times every day. My hope is that it was just put up today, but since the INAUGERATION was yesterday, I'm guessing it's been there awhile.

And if you are wondering WHY, STQ are you so dismayed with the word INAUGERATION...then go back to school and take spelling again. :)

Hello, hasn't every single television station, newspaper, magazine and website written that word a gazillion times for the past 2 months?

It's INAUGURATION, people.

And if you're wondering, yes, I did inform the office that it was misspelled. They kinda glared at me, but assured me it would be fixed. My comment was "I mean, in a school, ya oughtta spell it right, ya know?" I've probably been banned from subbing in that particular school again...sigh

Mea culpa

Today, I officially lost it. I listened to too much talk radio, I watched too much CNN and FOX news, I read too many blogs and news reports on TV, and I lost it. This blog has never been about politics (ok, occasionally a little bit) and I have absolutely NO interest in it becoming about politics. I got very involved in this election, and have not quite gotten over the results. I have even been considering running for office, but am now rethinking that.

The problem is, I can't turn it off. There is so much that is upsetting and disturbing and downright WRONG about American politics, on both sides of the aisle, frankly. It keeps me up nights when I am immersing myself in it. And I think even if I were President (heaven forbid), I couldn't actually change much of it.

Some people find that exciting, I guess. Or challenging, or whatever. I find it absolutely maddening, and it gets my blood boiling when I think of all of the idiocy that happens in the name of government. Our founding fathers are getting no eternal rest, rolling constantly in their graves at the insanity we have allowed our country to embrace.

And honestly, there is no fixing it. It's like trying to patch a leak on a giant water pipe made of chicken wire. The problems are too big, and too prevalent. (I'm getting all depressed again...)

So, I've decided NOT to obsess about it anymore. I allowed myself to get all manic and crazy today, and it absolutely ruined the day for me. Ruined a perfectly good MLK day where the temp was 70, the skies were blue and all was right with the world.

Tomorrow, I will let the world celebrate, and be happy for what I have. I have a great marriage with a wonderful man, 2 fantastic kiddos, a warm home full of laughter and love, tons of loving family, friends to die for and generally a great life. Tomorrow, I will take the burden of running the world OFF of my shoulders (whew) and let it run itself.

This is where I get political. Sorry, couldn't help myself.

Today's post has been deleted by the author who is so angry, disgusted and outraged about the obscene spending in Washington this week that she got nasty.

Can't say tomorrow will be any better. I'll blog again when I am able to think clearly.

I pray for wisdom, perspective and patriotism for you, Mr. Obama.

Yet another reason Chase is in private school

Tonight is the much-anticipated state of the state speech by our exalted Governor here in Nevada. As is the case across the nation, it's not going to be his most upbeat and positive speech, for sure. Nevada leads the nation in foreclosures, has a higher-than-average unemployment rate and has a beyond pathetic educational system.

So, how are we going to address these issues, you may ask? Well, one way they are planning to help out us little folks is by CUTTING teacher pay by 6%.

Um, what??

Yep, that's the brilliant idea here. The GOOD schools stink and are dangerous here. People are selling their excess organs on ebay in order to pay for private school. So, let's cut the pay of the already pitifully-paid teachers so the ones who are actually hanging on for the sake of the kids will quit and we'll be stuck with the ones who simply don't have the drive or initiative to quit and find something that pays more than minimum wage for your Master's in Education. FANTASTIC IDEA. Really thinkin' big picture, fellas.

Can't wait for the gazillion dollar study to be done on this little gem 10 years from now.

Question: Was this a good idea?
Answer: No. ($100,000)

Question: Uh, why not? It saved us tons of money!! Especially when the good teachers left in disgust and the only ones left were the ones who would never qualify for a raise in the first place. Think of the savings!!
Answer: Our children can no longer speak ANY language, no one has any idea what the capital of Ohio is (or on what continent you might find it) and the number of seniors who can add double-digit numbers has dropped to a single-digit percentage. ($100,000)

But think of the savings.

I hate to be a nay-sayer, but I think this is a very bad idea. The other reason it's a bad idea is because teachers' pay is protected by LAW. So, as soon as our idiot legislators pass this, the teachers' union will sue them.

More money for lawyers, less money for everybody else while they battle this out. And the state will probably lose, so we'll have LOST money while trying to squeeze savings out of the LAST PLACE THEY SHOULD HAVE EVER LOOKED.

When in heaven's name will they realize that cutting EDUCATION is a terrible, pointless, heartless and truly stupid idea? I mean, really. I'd rather drive through a few more potholes than have our future generation knocked down yet another rung on the importance ladder. Or, (heaven forbid) pay our legislators a little less...

I rubbed elbows with royalty today...

I subbed in an early-childhood classroom today. My favorite!! :) Why is it my favorite, you ask?

1. I always have an aide
2. The kids are 3-4 years old
3. They are too young to be sneaky and nasty (I have learned that second grade is NOT too young...)
4. They only come half a day, so I get two classes, which I prefer!
5. Did I mention I always have an aide??

An aide is so helpful because the kids are not quite as out of control when they know at least one of the teachers in the classroom. Plus, the aide knows the routine, which makes it infinitely easier. I absolutely love having an aide...

And today was fun - coloring, playing with blocks, singing kid songs, refreshing my knowledge of colors, shapes and letters (always helpful)...

But, today of the 9 kids in the afternoon class, I had the privilege of teaching royalty.

There was a kid named...Caesar
There was a kid named...Emir
There was a kid named...Princess Jasmine
And last, but absolutely NOT least, there was a kid named...Emperor.
And on the other end of the spectrum, I had a kid named Damien, so the demon-possessed folks were well-represented as well.

I kid you not - I was running around after these kids today calling them these exalted names!! Love calling the one girl princess - she insisted on both names, by the way. As would I!

Family day trips

Yesterday was an absolutely gorgeous day in Las Vegas. Clear blue skies, tons of warm sunshine, 65 degrees...as my friend Kale would say, "a Chamber of Commerce day!" So, the STQ family took a little day trip to Red Rock Canyon. Not nearly as far away as when we went to Death Valley (I still haven't blogged about that), but it was fun.

I don't know how many of you know this, but Las Vegas is a valley. A valley as in, surrounded by mountains. And to those of you Colorado folks, YES, real mountains! There are even a couple of 13'ers within two hours of our house. Now, the difference between Colorado mountains and Nevada mountains is that we have no trees on ours, but if that pine beetle has its way, you'll be there soon! :(

But I digress...

We went to Red Rock Canyon. There is a very interesting visitors' center and then a 13-mile scenic drive with about 7-8 locations where you can park and go climbing and exploring those big red rocks. If you know Chase, you know that climbing rocks is right up his alley. If anyone had allowed him to bring his pick axe, he would have done some rock-hounding too, but we're just mean like that. So, we climbed rocks (ok, some of us did and the sensible one stayed at the bottom to observe for insurance purposes...), hiked trails, looked for snakes and generally had a great time.

At the end of the day, Chase ran pretty far ahead of us, and when we rounded a corner, we saw an amazing sight. Chase was on the ground holding his bleeding knee and a group of teenagers was tending to him with their first aid kit.

Teenagers.
No adults.
Tending to an 11-yr-old who just fell.
With the FIRST AID KIT they brought.

Now, maybe I'm wrong, but I cannot imagine a situation in which I, as a teenager, would have thought of a first aid kit, much less brought one along when I was going hiking with my friends. Be honest...can you? And I'm an adult (and a mother) now, and I didn't have a first aid kit with me! After thanking the boy with the kit profusely, I asked him if he had been a boy scout at any time in his life. His comment was, "Nope, I'm just a Mexican. Mexicans are always prepared for emergencies."

So, the moral of this story is, make sure your hiking group includes at least one Mexican, and you'll be safe from all boo-boos.

Amazing...

Sunrise, sunset...

***First, I wanted to update you all. The literary agent emailed me and said that due to the holidays, they have gotten behind and will need an extra week to evaluate my manuscript. Just in case you were curious!***

I'm having a crisis.

I'm (ahem) 40 and I am still wondering what I'm going to do when I grow up.

I have spent the last 11+ years as a stay-home mom. I have always had some kind of job, but it has taken a back seat to taking care of Megan and Chase. In Austin, I worked from home managing a database for our church. In Green Bay, I wrote a book. (didn't pay so well, but kept me off the streets.) In Denver, I worked 7am-noon in the office at Warren Tech, the local technical high school. All of these jobs worked out absolutely perfectly with the kids' schedule, and I was able to contribute to the household and fulfill my desire to be there for my kids.

Since we have moved to Las Vegas, I have not found a job. Unemployment is higher here than the national average, and with the casinos laying people off right and left, there is a lot of competition for every job. I have been substitute teaching, but even that has gotten more competitive, and I was only able to get one job this week.

All of this has left me feeling at a loss.

On one hand, I'm simply unwilling to sacrifice this time I have with Chase. On the other hand, I have no interest in staying home alone while he's in school all day. As good as that sounds, it gets old fast, trust me. I have a college degree, lots of experience and would like to exercise my brain more than just figuring out what is for dinner tonight! I have loved my time as a stay-home mom, but it's time to do something else.

So, I've been looking at my options.

My first thought was to go back to school. To do what?

My second thought was hmmmm. Nursing? 3+ years and about $25,000. Nope.

My third thought was something LIKE nursing, but not quite so spendy. CNA! 1 semester, $1000 and I'm ready to go. Then I researched what a CNA does. Mostly bedpans? No thanks.

Then I went and toured a school today for Pharmacy Tech. $14,500 and 9 months full-time school. sigh.

So, I've decided to be a blackjack dealer. Or a cocktail waitress. Wait, no one is hiring? I'm simply unwilling to enter the adult entertainment industry, so where does that leave me?

Wondering what I'm going to be when I grow up.

A very wise woman (hi Mom!) pointed out to me yesterday that substitute teaching, while not my dream job, fulfills my need for flexibility. It pays fairly well, considering, and probably once we get away from the holidays, there will be more jobs available. MAYBE I should stop whining about subbing and see it for what it is. A means to an end.

But I LIKE WHINING!!! :( I mean, what would this blog be if I stopped whining???

Another friend (hi Amy!) suggested that subbing could be my superhero alter ego. Whiny substitute by day, fabulous amazing (hopefully published someday) author by night. Only if I get to wear a cape! So, I think these are good suggestions. Until something better comes along.

(the following must be said in a VERY whiny voice)

I REALLY HOPE SOMETHING BETTER COMES ALONG!!! :)

Would you like my autograph now?

So, about three years ago, I wrote a novel.

Yes, doesn't that sound impressive? Well, I was impressed too, until I tried to get someone (anyone, frankly) to publish said novel.

I wrote roughly 5,643 query letters to literary agents.

I received roughly 5,640 rejection letters. (Some were rude and decided I wasn't worth the stamp, apparently.)

Now, although the letters were ALL rejection letters, they were only rejecting my query letter, as I had yet to have any of said agents actually want to READ my book. It still hurt my little blonde feelings. I mean, how good could my NOVEL be if my QUERY LETTER stunk that badly?? I was depressed.

So, I stopped sending the letters. Seemed like a big fat waste of time, I don't need all that rejection, and I have not sent a query letter for oh, say, a year. Then last week, I started thinking about it again, and how much I don't want to be a substitute teacher forever, but how much I want to still have time to be with Chase when he isn't in school and go on field trips, etc. Really, any other job (including teacher) will keep me from being able to be as involved in his life as I have always been.

I started to think of my options.

1. Win the lottery. Problem with this one is that you have to actually PLAY the lottery, which to me has always seemed a lot like flushing dollar bills down the toilet.

2. I live in Vegas - put it all on black and let it ride! For the problem with this one, see #1. Flush.

3. Knock off my parents and live on the gigantic inheritance I am sure to receive. Problem with this one is that I actually LIKE my parents, and there's that whole pesky murder rap/life in prison thing to contend with. I don't look good in horizontal stripes, so that's out.

4. Hey, dummy, you wrote a perfectly good book and it is just sitting upstairs gathering dust. Why not dust it off and shop it around again? Then, after my multi-million dollar advance and 5-book sequel deal from Doubleday, all my problems would be solved.

So, I googled awhile, found a literary agent that I hadn't bothered before and sent off a hilarious, informative, thoughtful and utterly-delightful query letter. Two days later, I got a response. THEY WANT TO READ MY MANUSCRIPT!!!!!

Say what?

So, I sent it to them, and they promise a one-week turnaround. They will email me this week and either say "What bank account would you like the million dollar advance deposited in?" or "Thanks, but your manuscript is kaka, we hate you have blocked your email address and think you should not even write shopping lists in the future, you are so untalented." Well, that's how I am going to interpret it, anyway. In truth, even if they love the manuscript, there are several more hurdles to jump before I can consider myself a published author, but this is the first step, and I am excited...and nervous.

So, say a prayer, keep your fingers crossed, knock on wood, rub your lucky rabbit's foot, throw salt over your shoulder or whatever you do for luck and think of me. I'll update you later in the week!

Football

I know, the topic will probably ensure that no one actually reads this entry...

Those of you who knew me three zip codes ago when I lived in Texas are probably very surprised that I can even spell football, much less that I would write a blog entry about it. Living in Texas for 19 years should have created a football fan, if there was one buried anywhere in me. But it didn't. When we left Texas, I didn't actually know what a down was, and if you asked me, it was silly to call ANYTHING in football a safety since they all just try to kill each other and there just ain't nothin' safe about it.

Then we moved to Green Bay, WI. Within two weeks of moving, divine hubby was out of town on a business trip, Chase was in dreamland and I was up watching Monday Night Football and screaming at Brett Favre to STOP THROWING INTERCEPTIONS!!! Now, just the fact that I knew what an interception WAS in two weeks was impressive in my book.

Since that fateful September evening nearly 4 years ago, I count myself among the throngs of the Packer faithful. I've been asked WHY I became a football fan, much less a Packer fan, and I can only tell you that Green Bay is a very special place. We lived about 2 miles from Mecca, I mean Lambeau Field and on a really cold, clear night (there were a lot of those) you could hear the roar when Brett got it done. When we moved to Denver, I was told by well-meaning but delusional friends and family that "Denver fans are just as crazy about the Broncos as Packer fans are." Um, no. They aren't. Having lived in GB and in Denver, I can say there just is no comparison. I know, I know, the fans love the Broncos, but it's just not the same. You see, in Denver, there are other things going on during football season to distract you if the Broncos are losing. In Green Bay, after a big loss or a big win for that matter, that is the ONLY topic of conversation. I mean it - I promise you that Obama did NOT get discussed as much as Aaron Rodgers and Donald Driver after the election. It is a city (maybe state)-wide obsession.

And I happily joined in. Of course, it helps that one of the requirements of being a homeowner in Green Bay is that you have to show them your Packer tattoo...

Anyway, I have many many many good memories and friends from our year in Green Bay. Our little house there still ranks as my favorite house so far - it was simply perfect for us, and I would pick it up and plunk it right down here if I could. We miss our friends the Gudgeons and the Wagners, I miss my book club (hi Grace), we miss Door County and the fish boils, we miss fresh, squeaky cheese curds and yes, we miss the bitterly-cold weather and snow too. I gotta say, though, that one of the things I miss the most is the comraderie that comes when 200,000+ people all worship at the same place on Sundays in the Fall. And of course I am speaking of Lambeau Field!