I turned (ahem) 40 this year (cough cough). It was a little more difficult than I thought it would be, but I anticipated that it might be, so I spent the last year commenting (when asked my age) "I'll be 40 in September." Seemed like I might get kinda used to it if I said it umpteen zillion times. And, honestly, I think it helped. I still write (ahem) when disclosing my age, but it doesn't really bother me.
I have a dear friend here in Las Vegas named "D" and today is her birthday. She is (ahem) 50 today. We were supposed to go out to dinner with D and her hubby tonight, but her hubby called this morning and cancelled because D is too depressed about the whole shebang. I, being the control-freak that I am, tried to convince him that going out was the perfect antidote to depression, but he held his ground and it's all cancelled.
**My control-freak tendencies run deep, and I have a deep and abiding conviction that I am always right, so this was hard for me to take. Just ask Divine Hubby!**
I then tried to convince him to let me come over and give D her birthday present to cheer her up. He kindly, but firmly said D is in bed, has been all day, and that "It's just not a good time, STQ."
Harumph.
I truly believe if D's hubby would let me come over, I could help her climb out of the pit she's in. But, you know - it's not really my decision, is it? (again, harumph) I don't like it when things are out of my control. Or when people don't take my oh-so-brilliant advice as the gospel which it obviously is. :)
Maybe STQ has just a teensy bit too high of an opinion of herself? Yeah, maybe. It's been suggested before. But, it's absolutely out of love and concern for my good friend D. If I were in a birthday-induced pit, I would want every friend I ever had to show up, bring me presents, drag me to dinner, ply me with girly martinis and convince me that 50 is the new 30 or something. (Remember that when I'm under the bed crying in a deep blue funk 10 years from now, ok?? )
Anyway, say a prayer for my friend D. She is such a loving, giving, generous, warm and wonderful woman, and I am very sad that she is taking this birthday so hard.
9 comments:
I feel your pain. I am a self-diagnosed "Fixer". In college I would much rather date the angsty- isuue ridden guy, than the normal joe shmoe. Mind you, it is getting better. But I still think I can and will fix everyone with an issue. It is much easier than fixing your own ;) Oh well.
She's right, STQ's a control-freak and her freakish tendencies run deep....although she's usually right.
-Divine Hubby.
I felt kind of crappy about my last big B-day...but someone told me this: "It's better than the alternative."
Which is so true, I'd rather be 30 or 40 or 50 etc. than dead.
I'm sorry she feels that way about her birthday. Not much you can do to stop time so you might as well enjoy it. Maybe she will feel better next week and you can celebrate then!
Hmmmmmm...me thinketh thou mighteth be related to AC and CAM on the "control freak" issue...even though the links are through the "easy going" line of the family. The term I have adopted is "Miz Fix-It Fox"...which is a personality trait of the "messy" as explained in the Messies Manual. Fits me perfectly!!! I have always loved "saving the day." AC has mellowed a bit now that she has entered the decade of her 60's, but the tendancy still crops up now and then (just ask the girls).
As for birthdays, 40 and 50 didn't get so much as a blink from me. 60, however, came with the realization that I am most definitely on the "downhill side" of my life (how many 120 year olds do you know????). It's been 7 months since the old birthday, and the thoughts of old age still creep in, although not as often as they did at first. When I turn 70 will you bring me lots of gifts???????????????
I have found that the decades are sometime hard. When I turned 50, I looked up every reference in the Bible to the Jubilee year. That occurred every 50 years for the Israelites and is a time of releasing slaves and letting fields rest...sounds good to me. Good queston is: what are we enslaved to? Let 'r go! Maybe it is fixing everybody? So be it.
Let 'r go! Let everybody "do their thing." It's OK.
It's so interesting that what we believe is what we feel. Since D believes 50 is the end of the world, it feels like the end of the world! It's hard to see someone suffering unnecessarily.
Kale
Sometimes I think part of being a good friend is to realize that what your wants and needs may be different from your friend's wants and needs. People are so different in the way they react to painful situations.
It sounds like she has a great husband, and when she's ready, you will work your magic on her and make her feel better too!
Please discard the word "what" from my first sentence and then it will make sense. Damn multitasking!
Post a Comment